Independent Dependence
by The Maine Coon Cat
Summary: A couple funny little tales involving Zim and...well, heck, I'm not gonna' tell you! Read it for yourself and enjoy!


Independent Dependence & Other Weird Shtoof   
  
by: FAITH (a.k.a. "The Maine Blueberry")  
  
Invader ZIM fanfic.  
  
{FOI copy. Faith E. W.}  
  
No stealing!  
  
/============================================/  
  
WHEEEE!! AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:   
  
I guess I should explain.  
  
Ahem...I don't know what provoked me to rot your minds in such an evil manner,except that I have been HORRIBLY uninspired as of late.  
  
You see,THIS is what what happens when you (a.:Don't get enough sleep,(b.:Feel an urgent,aching NEED to create a fancharacter,and (c.: Don't really care anymore if you see tons of hate mail leering at you from the shadows.  
  
...I am that person I just described--so flame me if you will!! But,at least give me the benefit of the doubt and actually read the WHOLE THING first.  
  
I love you all! p  
  
===============================  
  
Prepare yourselves...for here begins...  
  
The first chapter!  
  
But I have done something weird...  
  
I put the end...first...in two seperate stories.  
  
So NOW,feast your squirmy eyeballs upon--!   
  
/=================================/  
  
INDEPENDENT DEPENTENCE  
  
==============================  
  
Ah,12:00 a.m.  
  
Her eyes glowed menacingly in the blackness...like two big,very menacing fireflies--only pink.   
  
She had planned it right--moonless,rainy,overcast,and cold--nobody would ever go out on a night like this.  
  
Nobody...but the one she wanted...   
  
==============================  
  
"Doom,doom,doom,doom,doom,doom,dooooom--"  
  
"GIR!"  
  
The little robot blinked,slightly offended at having it's song interrupted;but quickly grinned at the sour face in the doorway,"Hi,Master!!"  
  
Zim blinked as well,his eyes not yet adjusted to the glowing blue light of the TV set,"Is Foi up?!"  
  
"Erm...She told me-" GIR's head lolled to the side,"-to tell you...that's she's asleep!!"  
  
That confirmed his suspicions,"I thought so... Wait--So,why are YOU awake?"  
  
"Angry Monkey Show marathon!"  
  
"Go to bed!!"  
  
"Awww,man."  
  
As the robot clomped past him,Zim shot an acidic glance out the window. He was no fool;in the month Foi had been his mate,he had become acutely aware of her erratic nighttime schedule. It seemed that she could exist merely on cat-naps and siasche marzpe. How,he could not comprehend,but it was irritating. And now he'd have to go after her...again.  
  
With a growl,he headed for the elevator.  
  
=============================  
  
'CRASH!'  
  
Zim cringed at the flash of lightning before him,then squinted in sudden darkness,"FOI?!!"  
  
.........  
  
"Answere the mighty ZIM!!!!!"  
  
Nothing...  
  
"Foi? I am warning you!!"  
  
'CRACK!'  
  
A black figure pounced down from the satellite and onto the roof,causing Zim to jerk backwards in shock.  
  
Another bolt of lightening lit up the scene enough for him to get a glimpse of curled antennae and large,strawberry-frosting pink eyes. Out of the thunder..."Ziiiiiimmm-I have come for you!!"  
  
His look of surprise melted into one of disdain at the "spooky" female voice,"FOI! What on Irk are you doing up here on the roof?! And without any protection!!! Are you try-ING to get sick?"  
  
A thoughtful moment,"Hey,Zim! What are you doing up here without your diguise?"  
  
"I suppose you think this all very funny."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Well,I DON'T! I am cold,unarmed,and exposed for the whole filthy human race to see!!! GET INSIDE!!!!!!!"   
  
It was a fortunate thing for Foi that the lightening did not illuminate her suppressed grin at Zim's aggitation:It would have meant certain roof-death.  
  
Nonetheless,she followed him in.  
  
"I do not know WHAT possesses you to go up there in the middle of the night!"  
  
"I-"  
  
"Nevermind,I don't care. All I want to do is see you off to bed--after you change out of your SOPPING WET clothes first,of course!!" This brought on another fit of vehement mutterings,"It's not like anybody could overlook the fact that you are shivering all over the place!!"  
  
Foi seemed undaunted,though. She stood-or sat,rather-as happy as if she'd won a lifetime supply of siasche marzpe. It wasn't often that Zim threw a REAL fit,and it was always a treat to watch. In fact,she wished she'd gotten some snax stix beforehand.  
  
He soon emerged from the closet,holding a ball of tightly wadded clothing in his hand,and assessed her condition.  
  
His eyes began to bulge,and she knew she was in for it once more.  
  
But his words came out surpriseingly calm,"You are wearing my uniform,Foi."  
  
"Well,MY clothes are way too nice to get wet and dirty,Zim."  
  
He twitched,and she felt a ball of cloth hit her hard in the face. Looking down,she noticed that these clothes were also Zim's own,and,realizing the underlying kindness behind it,she smiled,"Sorry..."  
  
"Will you go out again tomorrow night?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Of course you will. NOW GET AWAY FROM MEEE!!!"  
  
"Okay. Thanks for the clothes,Zim."  
  
His face stretched into a hideous scowl,and Foi bolted while she still had the chance.  
  
=============================  
  
As soon as his mate was out of range,Zim felt a grin slowly creep over his features. A year ago,even less,he would have thrown such a person out into a busy freeway;but now,for one reason or another,he chose to let her amuse him instead.  
  
It was amazing what one could do when one loved someone else...  
  
FIN.  
  
/============================/  
  
'Siasche Marzpe' is the Irken equivelent of Strawberry Cheesecake.   
  
'Snax Stix' -at least my version- is basically like a granola bar,with sweet Irken fruits (dried,of course) and [the equivelent of-] chocolate inside.   
  
/===========================/  
  
THE WIFE OF NOBLE CHARACTER  
  
=============================  
  
A wife of noble character who can find?  
  
She is worth far more than rubies.  
  
Her husband has full confidence in her...  
  
(Pictures of Zim pushing Foi away from his computer,cuffing her hand when she tries to help him fix the Voot Cruiser,and then dragging her away as the Voot Cruiser explodes.)  
  
and lacks nothing of value...  
  
(Picture of Zim's empty money jar. He turns it upside-down and shakes it,then scowls at Foi--who just happens to be wearing a beautiful new fur coat. Foi runs away.)  
  
She brings him good,not harm,all the days of her life.  
  
(Snapshots of Foi accidently tripping Zim,dropping a bowling ball onto his foot,squeezing him until he chokes,and crashing the Voot Cruiser two inches away from his head.)  
  
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands...  
  
(Foi eats a pastry.)   
  
She is like the merchant ships,bringing her food from afar.  
  
(She presses a button and a sandwhich appears. She grins.)  
  
She gets up while it is still dark;  
  
(Foi lies facedown on the bed while her alarm clock blares,"12:48 p.m.!! Wake up,you lazy fink!!!". GIR pokes her with a stick.)  
  
She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.  
  
(GIR and Foi stand at the counter in 'Mac Meaties'. GIR chooses about 19 items off the menu while Foi cringes at the 'Meat-Shake' machine.)  
  
She considers a field and buys it;out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.  
  
(Picture of Foi buying a dress off the internet. When Zim isn't looking,she buys him a clown wig. She giggles.)  
  
She sets about her work vigorously;her arms are strong for her tasks.  
  
(Foi struggles to open the Voot's trunk. Zim shakes his head.)  
  
She sees that her tradeing is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.  
  
(Cut to Foi and Zim asleep on the couch.)   
  
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.  
  
(Foi balances a cupcake on her head.)  
  
She opens her arms to the poor  
  
(She hugs Zim,causing him to drop a vial of chemicals he is holding. Cut to Zim and Foi trying to put out the fires.)  
  
and extends her hands to the needy.  
  
(Foi gives Zim a cookie. He scowls. Pan up to see the Voot Cruiser stuck in the place where the front door used to be.)  
  
When it snows,she has no fear for her household;all of them are dressed in scarlet.  
  
(Cut to Foi and Zim huddling together after they both got caught in a blizzard. Foi wraps Zim in her fur coat and says,"I told you so!" Zim glares at her.)  
  
She makes coverings for her bed;she is clothed in fine linen and scarlet.  
  
(Foi spins around in her new dress. Zim walks past her with a clown wig in his hand. He grunts.)   
  
Her husband is respected at the city gate,  
  
(Dib throws a muffin at Zim's head.)  
  
Where he takes his seat amoung the elders of the land.  
  
(Zim rides on a bus. He is surrounded by diseased-looking old people. He grimaces.)  
  
She makes linen garmets and sells them,and supplies the merchants with sashes.  
  
(Foi greedily stuffs siasche marzpe into her mouth.)  
  
She is clothed with strength and dignity;  
  
(Foi sports little bows on the ends of her antennae. Zim giggles at her.)  
  
She can laugh at the days to come.  
  
She speaks with wisdom,and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  
  
(Pictures of Zim and Foi sitting next to each other and talking. Out the window,GIR is being held hostage by gangster squirrels.)  
  
She watches over the affairs of her household.  
  
(Foi tucks a sleeping GIR into bed and places a toy moose in his arms.)  
  
and does not eat the bread of idleness.  
  
(Zim lies asleep on the couch. Foi walks in and relaxes as well,eating some siasche marzpe. Outside,GIR can be seen battling a rabid chihuahua.)  
  
Her children arise and call her blessed;  
  
(It is 4:30 in the morning. Foi stands at the stove with her eyes half closed. GIR is waving butter,strawberry-flavored syrup,and whip-cream in the air,screaming,"Waffles,waffles,WAFFLES!!!!!!!")  
  
her husband too,and he praises her:"Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all."  
  
(Foi is still struggling to open the trunk;Zim rolls his eyes. In exasperation,she finally kicks it and storms off. The trunk pops open. Zim begins to laugh.)   
  
...Give her the reward she has earned,and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.  
  
(Foi sits on the floor with GIR,watching 'The Angry Monkey Show';her eyes are glazed over in boredom. Just when she is about to go insane,Zim appears with "Shooting Privet Rupert" and snax-stix. He hands a stick to Foi and puts the movie in. GIR screams. Zim pats Foi's head affectionately,then shoves her away,smirking. She playfully jabs him in the arm as the movie starts. In the background,a hoard of squirrels led by a rabid chihuahua are stareing at GIR. He offers them a cookie. They scowl.)  
  
FIN.?  
  
/===============================/  
  
REAL Author's Note: Ah...the slightly weird introduction to Foi....Yes,I am completely mortified right now. I mean-what was I thinking?  
  
Well,at least it's SUPPOSED to be stupid. Foi's not exactly the perfect mate...but she IS amusing...I guess.  
  
I had fun writing this. It's just a little thing,no big deal. Just wanted to do something worthwhile...but I hope YOU had some fun (and some laughs!) reading this little ditty of mine. I hope it will bring about more chapters. Chapters on how this all got started. I'll at least put up Foi's bio.  
  
Oh,yeah....(AHEM) If you leave me a flame,I will--I WILL!!!!...I dunno'. Heck,who does? Eh...they'll be used to cook s'mores or something...I love s'mores...   
  
Any...way--please review! /   
  
/=========================================/  
  
Proverbs 31:10-31 belongs to GOD and The Bible.  
  
Thank You,Dear Lord,for giving me this inspiration. p  
  
=----------------------=======---------------------------= 


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